HuffPost's QuickRead... ShareBox.ad = function (tag_id){if ($(tag_id) == undefined) return; if ($(tag_id).innerHTML != '') return;ad_spec = {"zone_info": "huffpost.comedy/blog;comedy=1;nickname=rick-horowitz;entry_id=778883;2010-midterm-elections=1;barack-obama=1;cable-news=1;choice-2010=1;concession-speeches=1;congressional-elections=1;decision-2010=1;election-2010=1;election-analysis=1;eric-cantor=1;harry-reid=1;john-boehner=1;midterm-elections=1;mitch-mcconnell=1;network-news=1;victory-speeches=1","ord": 1289005796,"tile": 3,"width": 300,"height": 250,"el_id": tag_id + "_js","class_name": "ad_block ad_wide top","type": "iframe"}HuffPoUtil.WEDGJE.write(ad_spec, tag_id);};Loading... HuffPost's QuickRead... 
Loading... BIG NEWS:Funny Pictures|Stephen Colbert|30 Rock|Funny Or Die| Energy Debates| More... | LogoutLog In| Sign Up The Huffington Post November 5, 2010 Front PagePoliticsBusinessMediaEntertainmentComedySportsStyle WorldGreenTech Food Travel LivingHealth Arts Books Religion Impact Education College NY LA Chicago Denver Blogs#ad_curtain {height:auto;margin:10px auto 0;width:938px} Hot: Keith Olbermann SUSPENDED From MSNBC Indefinitely Without Pay Get Breaking News by Email 
Rick HorowitzSatirist, syndicated columnistPosted: November 5, 2010 03:16 PMBIOBecome a FanGet Email AlertsBloggers' Index
function hide_user_promo_bubble_second_stage() {var bubble = $("user_promo_bubble");bubble.style.display = "none";}function hide_user_promo_bubble() {var bubble = $("user_promo_bubble");var myAnim = new YAHOO.util.Anim(bubble, {opacity: {to: 0}}, 1, YAHOO.util.Easing.easeOut);myAnim.animate();setTimeout("hide_user_promo_bubble_second_stage()", 1100);}function handle_promo_username(params) {var bubble = $("user_promo_bubble");var img = $("user_promo_bubble_image");var anchor = $("user_promo_bubble_link");if (params.has_photo == "true") {img.src = "http://images.huffingtonpost.com/profiles/" + params.user_id + "-tiny.png";} else {img.style.display = "none";Dom.addClass(anchor, "wide");}anchor.innerHTML = "Shared by " + params.user_name;anchor.href = "http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/" + params.user_name;bubble.style.display = "block";var myAnim = new YAHOO.util.Anim(bubble, {opacity: {to: 1}}, 2, YAHOO.util.Easing.easeOut);myAnim.animate();}if (HuffPoUtil.getUrlVar("user_promo")) {YAHOO.util.Event.onDOMReady(function() {var parts = document.location.hash.split(","), shared_by = "", badge = "", i;if (parts.length They Heard You Loud and Clear (Moreorless) What's Your Reaction: HPConfig.entry_digg_promo_url = 'http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rick-horowitz/they-heard-you-loud-and-c_b_778883.html';digg facebook Twitter stumble redditdel.ico.us GrossFunny
Crazy
Adorable
Weird
Amazing
Finally
Nerdy
Read More:2010 Midterm Elections, Barack Obama, Cable News, Choice 2010, Concession Speeches, Congressional Elections, Decision 2010, Election 2010, Election Analysis, Eric Cantor, Harry Reid, John Boehner, Midterm Elections, Mitch McConnell, Network News, Victory Speeches, Comedy News
Get Comedy AlertsEmailComments
Good morning, everyone -- have a seat. I'll be making some opening remarks, and then we'll throw it open, okay?
Let me say first of all that Tuesday night was an important night in our nation's history, and our state's history. Any time, in fact -- any time the American people go to the polls, it's just one more example of the majesty of the democratic process, and why this is such a great country.
And now the people have spoken, and I think it's incumbent on all of us -- even those who, technically speaking, weren't actually incumbents -- to listen to what the people said on Tuesday night. And I just want you to know: I heard. I was listening, and I heard.
And wouldn't you know it? What the people said on Tuesday night completely squares with what I've been saying all along:
"It's time to get rid of the designated-hitter rule."
That message came through loud and clear, from every corner of this country -- north and south, east and west -- and certainly from every corner of the state. It's long past time for American League baseball to return to the rules that were plenty good enough for the founders, and let the pitcher hit for himself.
Now, I know there will be some people out there who'll question whether that was really the message the voters sent on Tuesday night.
Well, I'm here to tell you that from where I'm sitting, that was exactly the message! Then there are those who'll say that there were other messages, too. Stronger messages. And my answer to them is: They didn't hear what I heard.
If they want to say, and I understand some of my colleagues are actually saying this, that the voters' message was "Compromise!" -- well, that's fine for them. Go ahead, compromise.
And if some of my other colleagues are saying that the voters' message was "Don't compromise -- stand firm for your principles!" -- that's fine, too. Just like my colleagues who heard the voters telling them, "Work harder -- we need more help!" and the ones who heard the voters telling them, "Back off -- we need smaller government!"
You see, that's the beauty of our system: Once the people speak, it's up to us to decide what they said. And what they meant. And what they really meant.
And call it the "Great American Miracle" if you want to, but the best part about it is this: No matter who's doing the speaking, no matter who's doing the listening, what we hear from the people always sounds remarkably like the very things we ourselves were already saying!
Isn't that terrific?
Now, I'm sure that someday, somewhere, one of us here in Washington is going to hear the voters say, "Change your ways! You got it absolutely, totally wrong." But that's not the Washington I know! Those aren't the public servants I've been so privileged to call my friends.
The Washington I know is a place of unshakable confidence, and tremendous resilience. It doesn't just take lemons and turn them into lemonade -- it turns them into jet fuel!
So I'm here to tell you: We listened. We heard. And the designated-hitter rule is toast.
Any questions?
Follow Rick Horowitz on Twitter:www.twitter.com/Rick_Horowitz
Mitch McConnellJohn BoehnerHarry ReidEric Cantor
More in Comedy... 
Stewart Mocks Whitman, Paladino & The Media's...Tina Fey Dusts Off Her Sarah Palin...Stewart Takes On Media's Insistence That Obama...The Funniest Office Pranks Of All Time... Comments 0 Pending Comments 0 View FAQ 
Login or connect with: More Login OptionsLogin with: Google Account Huffpost Account Yahoo AccountYou must be logged in to comment.Post CommentPreview CommentTo reply to a Comment: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to.Share your Comment:
Post to Facebook.Post to Blogger.Post to Twitter.Post to WordPress.Post to TypePad.Post to Tumblr.Post to Yahoo! View All Recency | Popularity New comments on this entry — Click to refresh
Loading comments… Loading twitter module... Most Popular on HuffPost3bWm%2BaHXUy4xSJ%2B1lra5lT1igWCMP9XRiX58EwOtuH6bsvSgJl3335nLjiig8h8TgkmAVCaNs%2Bhg%2FjVq8zJiJg%3D%3DE7IT4lLx9kvQiGTKDU8VVE%2FF3WoEdjP%2BbEICEEeXDWryQ4VW4GtG8e1PaCWTEaoJaS9a4U1m6xo4AhKlEmtKIw%3D%3D1 of 2 Keith Olbermann SUSPENDED From MSNBC Indefinitely Without Pay26,883 Comments
Kendra Wilkinson: I'm A 'Single Mom'656 Comments
Election 2010 Winners And Losers2,952 Comments
Jane Hamsher Top 10 Surprise Election Night Losers (PHOTOS)547 Comments
Arianna Huffington In 2009 the White House Underestimated...2,019 Comments
Paul Begala A Centrist Democratic Agenda: More Jobs, Less...1,083 Comments
PHOTOS: Katy Perry: I Once Wanted A Breast Reduction482 Comments
WATCH: Incredible Chase! Bear Hunts Bison Down A Highway1,007 Comments
PHOTOS: Julianne Moore's Peek-A-Boo Gown212 Comments Don't Miss HuffPost Bloggers1 of 5
Chris Matthews Infrastructure as MonumentRobin Quivers Exploring Solutions for ObesityMark Penn Strategy Corner: Exit Polls Show the Voters Just Want Obama Back in the Center and on the EconomyPaul Begala A Centrist Democratic Agenda: More Jobs, Less CorruptionMichael Moore Today Is the DayMark Ruffalo Taking on Karl RoveRussell Simmons Don’t Vote And We’ll Get The Alice In Wonderland Congress From Hell!Paulina Porizkova On PoliticsDavis Guggenheim Do you Dither?Wyclef Jean What You Gonna Fight For?Hot Trends charlie sheen christine o'donnell elvis costello obama shake weight Follow Huffington Post .bf_ticker { background-color:#E1E1E1; border:10px solid #E1E1E1; font-family:Arial,"Helvetica Neue",Helvetica,sans-serif; font-weight:bold; margin:10px 0;}.bf_ticker_content { padding:0px 10px 0 10px; background-color:#FFFFFF;}.bf_ticker_bottom { padding:3px 10px 10px 10px; background-color:#f0f0f0; text-align:right; height:10px; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 4px 4px; -webkit-border-radius: 0px 0px 4px 4px; border-radius: 0px 0px 4px 4px;}.bf_ticker_header { height:48px; background:#FFFFFF url(/images/module_bg_border.png) repeat scroll 0px 0px; -moz-border-radius: 4px 4px 0px 0px; -webkit-border-radius: 4px 4px 0px 0px; border-radius: 4px 4px 0px 0px;}.bf_ticker_header_text { padding-top:10px; text-align:center;}.bf_ticket_container{ border-color:#CCC; border-width:1px; border-style:solid none none none;}.bf_ticket_first_container{ border-color:#CCC; border-width:1px; border-style:none none none none;}.bf_ticker_image { float:left; padding:10px 13px 10px 0px;}.bf_ticker_text { padding:10px 10px 5px 0px; border:1px solid red';}.bf_ticker_title { font-family:Arial; font-size:15px; font-weight:bold; color:black';}.bf_ticker_readmore { font-family:Arial; font-size:12px; font-weight:bold; padding:0 0 10px 0;} 
Internet Finds Time Traveler With Cell Phone in 1928 Charlie Chaplin FilmRead More »
Venn Diagrams From Google Suggest Are AwesomeRead More »
A Review of the Complete Idiot's Guide to MemesRead More » powered by buzzfeed .bf_ticker { background-color:#E1E1E1; border:10px solid #E1E1E1; font-family:Arial,"Helvetica Neue",Helvetica,sans-serif; font-weight:bold; margin:10px 0;}.bf_ticker_content { padding:0px 10px 0 10px; background-color:#FFFFFF;}.bf_ticker_bottom { padding:3px 10px 10px 10px; background-color:#f0f0f0; text-align:right; height:10px; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 4px 4px; -webkit-border-radius: 0px 0px 4px 4px; border-radius: 0px 0px 4px 4px;}.bf_ticker_header { height:48px; background:#FFFFFF url(/images/module_bg_border.png) repeat scroll 0px 0px; -moz-border-radius: 4px 4px 0px 0px; -webkit-border-radius: 4px 4px 0px 0px; border-radius: 4px 4px 0px 0px;}.bf_ticker_header_text { padding-top:10px; text-align:center;}.bf_ticket_container{ border-color:#CCC; border-width:1px; border-style:solid none none none;}.bf_ticket_first_container{ border-color:#CCC; border-width:1px; border-style:none none none none;}.bf_ticker_image { float:left; padding:10px 13px 10px 0px;}.bf_ticker_text { padding:10px 10px 5px 0px; border:1px solid red';}.bf_ticker_title { font-family:Arial; font-size:15px; font-weight:bold; color:black';}.bf_ticker_readmore { font-family:Arial; font-size:12px; font-weight:bold; padding:0 0 10px 0;}
Mel Gibson's BeaverRead More »
Hey, What Are You Doing There?Read More »
The Cutest Pictures Of RatsRead More » powered by buzzfeed MOST DISCUSSED RIGHT NOW
Stewart Takes On Media's Insistence That Obama 'Doesn't Get It' (VIDEO)2,102 Comments
Tina Fey Dusts Off Her Sarah Palin Impression On Letterman (VIDEO)699 Comments HOT ON FACEBOOK
OOPS: Little Kid Celebrates Dad With Unintentionally Racist Cake (PHOTO)146 Comments
The Funniest Signs At The Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear! (PHOTOS)1,257 Comments HOT ON TWITTER
STUPID CRIMINALS: Man Wearing Breathalyzer Costume Arrested For DUI (PHOTO)3 Comments
Maz Jobrani Talks John Boehner, The Tea Party & Sending Cookies To The Middle East (VIDEO)0 Comments HUFFPOST'S BIG NEWS PAGES
Bank of America, Citigroup Testing iPhone For Employee Use: REPORTiPhone George Bush Thinks Sarah Palin Is 'Unqualified,' Lost Election For McCain, Says GOP SourceSarah Palin Hurricane Tomas Hits Haiti: How To HelpHaiti Earthquake 2010 Elections: 11 Undecided RacesElections 2010 Apple To Discontinue Xserve After January 31Apple Ouster Of Iowa Judges Who Supported Gay Marriage Emboldens Conservative ActivistsGay Rights Maz Jobrani Talks John Boehner, The Tea Party & Sending Cookies To The Middle East (VIDEO)Video Dick Wadhams: Michael Bennet Won Because Of Negative CampaigningKen Buck Sandra Lee Won't Live At Governor's Mansion NY Newsmore big news pages » Front PagePoliticsBusinessMediaEntertainmentComedySportsStyleWorldGreenTech Food Travel Living Health Arts Books Religion Impact Education College NY LA Chicago Denver BlogsAdvertise | Make HuffPost your Home Page | RSS | Careers | FAQ | Contact UsCopyright © 2010 HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. | User Agreement | Privacy | Comment Policy | About Us | Powered by Movable Type
HuffPost Lightbox 
No comments:
Post a Comment