As a nice Italian boy, as well as a former runner-up in the Newman's Own & Good Housekeeping Recipe Contest for a dish I called Zezima's Zesty Ziti Zinger, I have many remembrances of things pasta.
Aside from being a flash in the pan, however, I can barely boil spaghetti.
So I recently took a class in which I learned how to make ravioli.
The class, at the Brookhaven Free Library on Long Island, N.Y., was given by Richard Kanowsky, whose last name isn't Italian and whose immediate family is as culinarily challenged as I am.
"My mom is horrible in the kitchen," Chef Richard said. "My dad, too."
But his maternal grandmother was "a really good cook," he said. "I learned from her."
Although Chef Richard's ethnic background includes Russian, German, Dutch, French and Czech, his grandmother was half-Sicilian. "It qualifies me to make ravioli," he said.
"My ethnic background includes Martian," I told him. "Otherwise, I'm Italian. My mom is a great cook. My wife and my mother-in-law are of Italian descent. They're great cooks, too. Unfortunately," I added, "it doesn't qualify me to make ravioli."
"We'll fix that," promised Chef Richard, who was impressed that I beat out all but one person in a field of thousands in the national recipe contest. "What was your secret?" he asked.
"Red wine and vodka," I responded. "Paul Newman loved my dish. I told him I fed some to my dog to see if it was all right. He asked if my dog was still alive. When I said yes, he wolfed the stuff down like he hadn't eaten in a week. That he and my dog have since passed on is merely a coincidence."
After going over his professional background -- he has cooked at the Ritz-Carlton in Boston and at Carnegie Hall in New York City and co-owns Kanobley Catering on Long Island -- Chef Richard told the dozen class members that we would be rolling in dough.
"That," he explained, "is why I asked you to bring rolling pins."
Although Chef Richard had already made the dough we would be using in the class, he demonstrated how it's done so we could do it at home. The ingredients were flour, eggs, olive oil, heavy cream and kosher salt. The process involved making a well, or a large hole in the middle, and using a fork to stir the egg mixture into the flour and collapsing the well walls.
"You knead the dough," Chef Richard noted.
"No kidding," I said to Toni Anne, who was sitting next to me. "I ought to play Powerball."
After Chef Richard gave us eggs, cheese, flour and bags of dough, he handed out powdered rubber gloves and showed us how to roll pieces of dough, cut them into smaller pieces, squeeze a small mound of cheese onto each piece, use a pastry brush to apply the beaten eggs to the edges and fold over the dough, using our fingertips to push air out of the ravioli.
"If there's an air pocket," he said, "the ravioli could explode in boiling water."
Chef Richard went around the class to inspect our work. When he got to me, he said, "Your ravioli could be served in a restaurant."
"Tell the Ritz-Carlton I'm available," I said.
Then I took my dozen ravioli home to cook for myself and my wife, Sue.
I plopped them into a pot of boiling water. They didn't explode. I drained them, put them in a bowl, covered them in tomato sauce and served a ravioli to Sue.
"Delicious," she said. "It didn't break apart. You did a good job."
Coming from a great Italian cook, it was the ultimate compliment. Paul Newman would have loved it.
Stamford Advocate columnist Jerry Zezima is the author of "Leave It to Boomer." Visit his blog at www.jerryzezima.blogspot.com. Email: JerryZ111@optonline.net.
View the original article here
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
'Silver Spoons' Reunion Alert!
There was a "Silver Spoons" reunion earlier in March 2013. Ricky Schroder, Erin Gray and Joel Higgins reunited at the Friars Club's “So You Think You Can Roast!?” event.
"Silver Spoons" ran from 1982-1987 and launched Schroder to TV stardom. On the series, Schroder played Ricky Stratton, the son of millionaires. Higgins and Gray played his parents, Kate Summers Stratton and Edward Stratton III for the show's five seasons. According to Gray, this was the first time the three of them have gathered since the series wrapped.
View the original article here
"Silver Spoons" ran from 1982-1987 and launched Schroder to TV stardom. On the series, Schroder played Ricky Stratton, the son of millionaires. Higgins and Gray played his parents, Kate Summers Stratton and Edward Stratton III for the show's five seasons. According to Gray, this was the first time the three of them have gathered since the series wrapped.
View the original article here
Bryan Young: Exclusive: MAD Magazine Takes Over Batman's Cover...
The usual gang of idiots over at MAD Magazine know that the best way to get eyeballs on their work is to forcibly take over the space held by better, more popular books.
As a birthday present for Alfred E. Neuman (whose birthday is April Fool's Day, go figure) they launched an all out offensive (emphasis on offensive) against the DC offices of Batman comics.
We're unveiling to you exclusively the desecrated cover of Batman #19, written by Scott Snyder and with art by Andy Kubert and Sandra Hope. The original cover to Batman #19 teases the idea that Bruce Wayne might be using a gun, which is antithetical to his moral code.
"Who would cause Bruce Wayne to use a gun?" the tease asks.
I know. Alfred E. Neuman.
The legendary, longtime "idiot" from MAD, Al Jaffee, is responsible for the fold-in style cover for Batman. I don't want to make their heads too big by saying how much I like it, so I won't say anything at all. If you're on the fence about picking this issue up, though, I wouldn't hesitate. Scott Snyder's run on Batman has been fantastic and Andy Kubert is a phenomenal artist.
This issue hits newsstands on April 10, 2013, which is a bit late for Alfred's birthday, but that's par for the course for the "gents" at MAD.
Bryan Young is an author and the editor-in-chief of the geek news and review site Big Shiny Robot!
Rabbi Michael Bernstein: Sacred And Not-So-Sacred Cows: Humor And The Golden Calf
Someone I know used to have a mug that said "Sacred cows make the best hamburgers." This pithy statement captures part of what is at stake when we declare certain things to be off limits, taboo or untouchable. Of course, the flip side of the question is are there any targets that should in fact be declared off limits, taboo or untouchable?
This was a good week to ask that question.
Hosting the Academy Awards in front of a purported 1 billion viewers, Seth MacFarlane decided nothing was too sacred and nothing too profane. He racked up hits on topics as crass as in which movies famous actresses can be seen undressed, as graphic as the manner of Lincoln's assassination, as ugly as the physically abusive relationship between Chris Brown and Rihanna, and as poisonous as pretending that Hollywood is run by a secret Jewish cabal that meets at a synagogue. Some of it was even funny. All of it, however, triggered the conversation so ingrained in our society over what is allowed and not allowed to be joked about, and who gets to judge what is too sensitive, too hurtful, or too ignorant to be funny?
Interestingly, in addition to MacFarlane's performance, this past week seemed to have featured an above average number of stories involving this question. Also on Oscar night, The Onion, a satirical paper known for irreverently skewering everyone and everything, tweeted a short, extremely obscene message purporting that deep down lots of people want to call 9-year-old best actress nominee Quvenzhane Wallis a very not nice word. Later, (alleged) comedienne Joan Rivers, never one to filter, reached for the Holocaust to find a reference point in talking about the "hotness" of German supermodel Heidi Klum. And Dov Hikind, an Orthodox Jewish Assemblyman representing Brooklyn, painted his face dark to dress up as what he referred to as a "black basketball player" for a Purim party.
Only Hikind, of course, justified his behavior as a celebration of Purim. His excuse did not fly very far with the public as an explanation for how anyone, let alone a public figure who represents diverse constituents, could deem it acceptable to dress in a way that makes fun of another group of people. Not to mention that he employed "blackface," whose shameful history creates an even greater offense. (Here's The Daily Show's incomparable take on it.) Still, the Purim holiday, celebrated last week, has become an occasion for not only dressing up in outlandish costumes, but for roasting up those sacred cows.
Last week, we read of a very different cow, the Golden Calf molded by the Children of Israel out of impatience and loss of faith in Moses and G*d. When he sees the sight of such debauchery and idolatry, Moses hurls down the very stone tablets on which the law against graven images was engraved in the first place. So in the end, it is not only the not-so-sacred golden cow that gets broken into pieces.
The rabbinic tradition teaches that Moses' act met with G*d's approval and therefore, when the time came to place the Ten Commandments into the Holy Ark to accompany the people of Israel for all time, they included along with the intact second set of tablets the shards of the original. Among the many lessons these shards convey, is the idea that it is important to break the idols from time to time, even those that we hold to be sacred. Taking that task to heart carries with it responsibilty, particularly for those who hold power over and influence people.
When it comes to the role of humor it would be pointless to try to judge what lives up to this responsibility, let alone what succeeds as a joke. Power is dynamic, not static. It does not lend itself to absolute rules of conduct and propriety, and therefore, neither will humor. However, the act of purposefully thinking about the roles we play and what power we wield, matters and must be considered an integral part of what defines the impact of our language and our actions. Including those that are intended to push the envelope, or even slay the sacred cows.
Jonathan Ames Updates 'Bored To Death' Movie Progress
Jonathan Ames recently took New York Magazine on an outing to discuss his new Byliner novella You Were Never Really Here as well as the film adaptation of his canceled HBO show Bored to Death (which he's working on in addition to adaptations of Bernard Malamud's Pictures of Fidelman and Donald Westlake's 361).
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Rebekah Iliff: Study: Polytechnologiae -- The Next Human Relationship Revolution?
Polytechnologiae (from the Greek poly, meaning "many" or "several" and Latin technologiae meaning "technology") is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one virtual relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent (albeit much to the confusion) of everyone involved, often in a cross-platform environment. It is distinct from both "mono-technologiae," which emphasizes surface-level relationships with one individual via one social network (i.e., Twitter or Facebook) or platform (iPhone or iPad) as merely recreational; and "poly-socialization," which is the cultivation of surface-level relationships with both genders via multiple social networks, mostly just for narcissistic purposes.
Polytechnologiae, often abbreviated as just "polytech," is frequently described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible" technologically enhanced non-commitment, with the outcomes varying from feelings of emptiness-slash-loneliness, to brief "fixes" of fake intimacy. The word is sometimes used in a broader sense to refer to technology-driven relationships that have no actual intention of real-world application. Furthermore, there is extreme disagreement on how quickly this term has been adopted by "hipsters" and "freedom from responsibility" seekers in tech-friendly, urban environments across the globe.
Distinguishing polytechnologiae from traditional forms of technologically enhanced non-commitment methods (e.g., "sexting") is an ideology that openness, goodwill, truthful (and oft tawdry) communication with multiple parties across technology platforms, should trump any attempt at actual intimacy or obligation to real world relationships (let alone monogamous, physical relationships). However, an emphasis on relative principles, honesty, and transparency is regarded as the vital characteristic of polytechnologiae, and usage of SnapChat or Facebook's Poke is highly recommended for best (and safe) practices.
As of September 2012, it was estimated that 18.2 million polytechnologiae relationships existed in the U.S. alone. This does not include relationships with origins in the U.S. that are international in nature, as Skype would not publicly release key data for this study.
Scott Bateman: What Are Horses? Ask Disalmanac! (VIDEO)
How often has this happened to you: You're at a party, and everyone's talking about horses. But you can't join in the conversation, because you have no idea what horses are. Pretty often, we're betting.
This new ASK DISALMANAC video is for you: everything you need to know about horses, in about a minute. Take note
WATCH: How To Not Get Hired On 'SNL'
Comedian Jon Glaser has had a big year: He's had big guest spots on two zeitgeist-y shows, "Girls" (as an ex-junkie with a crush on Hannah) and "Parks and Recreation" (as a councilman who hates Leslie). Plus, his own Adult Swim series, "Delocated," about a man in Witness Protection who happens to have his own reality show, sees its series finale this Thursday, March 7.
HuffPost Live's Ricky Camilleri interviewed Glaser about his long career in comedy on Friday. At least, he attempted to conduct the interview, but in typical Jon Glaser fashion, Jon was more content to make fun of the host and the very idea of the interview.
In the clip above, Jon tells his story about getting rejected from "SNL" after deciding that the show was sorely lacking in impressions of King Hussein of Jordan.
View the original article here
HuffPost Live's Ricky Camilleri interviewed Glaser about his long career in comedy on Friday. At least, he attempted to conduct the interview, but in typical Jon Glaser fashion, Jon was more content to make fun of the host and the very idea of the interview.
In the clip above, Jon tells his story about getting rejected from "SNL" after deciding that the show was sorely lacking in impressions of King Hussein of Jordan.
View the original article here
Katla McGlynn: 'The Walking Dead' Recap: Captain Morgan Returns
This week's episode of "The Walking Dead" was a refreshing departure from the Prison vs. Woodbury plot line -- in fact, it avoided both of those locations all togehter -- and turned a run for supplies into a four-character story that could hold our attention for 42 minutes.
The sight of Rick, Carl and Michonne on the road together in the "family" vehicle set the tone for the rest of the episode, as the three of them would bond before getting back in it at the end of the day (and yes, I did imagine that these three might break off into a wacky sitcom spinoff, but that's just my dream). After a little car trouble, they made a point of blowing past a non-walker hitchhiker screaming for help on the roadside, solidifying the message of Season 3 thus far: that the living are to be feared even more than the dead. Still, it was haunting to watch them drive away knowing full well what's going to happen to this guy:
The trio made their way to Rick and Carl's neck of the woods for guns, ammo and supplies, only to find the police station arsenal had been completely depleted since it was first raided in season one. The town had obviously been "claimed," but unlike Woodbury, there were crude barricades and booby traps set up everywhere to injure and ward off both walkers and humans, and no other sign of civilization. That is, until a rooftop shooter appeared, fully armored, and demanded they drop their weapons and leave. Little did they know, until Carl got trigger-happy at exactly the right moment, that the man behind the riot gear was Morgan: Rick's neighbor and the first man to help him after he woke up from his coma at the beginning of the series.
But back to the booby traps. Not only were they intricate and everywhere, they were ironic, too!
After Carl shot Morgan (he was wearing a bullet-proof vest) they attempted to drag the unconscious man into his "Not Shitting You" den, but first had to pass through a series of traps. There they found the jail's full arsenal and then some. There were more than enough guns to ward off the Governor. But the bad news? Morgan had completely lost his mind. There was chalk writing all over the black walls, showing Morgan has accumulated enough twisted life experience to make him even crazier than Rick, especially since he has been suffering alone. If only walkers didn't kill the Internet ...
Rick insisted that they wait for Morgan to wake up instead of just looting his fortress. He gave Carl the go-ahead to head outside into the town to find a crib for baby Judith, on the condition that Michonne came along. By the way, I love this new talkative Michonne. She probably spoke more in this episode than any other, and we start to experience the tough love that Andrea recieved while they were living together in the woods. Michonne and Carl have a funny dynamic, since they both take themselves so seriously. Carl has proven himself an adult about a hundred times over but he still has to ask permission from his dad to go outside, and Michonne provided a buffer like the big sister or babysitter he never had/desperately needed.
Meanwhile, we saw Rick talking to an unconscious body (which has become somewhat of a "Walking Dead" tradition) when all of a sudden, Morgan awoke with a start and attacked Rick with a knife! He screamed that the he didn't know him, or anyone, even though Rick tried profusely to remind him. It was very intense!
Anyway, Rick was okay despite being stabbed in the chest and patched himself up before the episode's heaviest moment: his heart-wrenching chat with Morgan. Even after he finally calmed down and remembered Rick, it was not a happy reunion. The sight of Morgan's walkie talkie reminded us of the many times Rick tried to reach out to this man, and he told him that, but Morgan isn't exactly an "It's the thought that counts" kind of guy right now. He was angry with Rick for giving him hope and then never finding him. And who could blame him? He pointed out the sick irony that Rick gave him a gun to shoot his wife, who had turned, only to chicken out and later have his son TURNED INTO A WALKER BY HIS MOM. Yeesh! He made Rick's apocalyptic path thus far seem easy by comparison. Rick didn't argue, but side note: can we get a supercut of Rick frustratedly saying, "I had no choice!"? I feel like he says that a whole lot.
I also wanted to point out that Morgan, however disturbed, had the most poignant line of the episode, and maybe even the season so far: "The good people, they always die. And the bad people do too. But the weak people, the people like me? We have inherited the Earth." Deep, Morgan. Deep.
But back to Carl and Michonne. They used a new innovation of the zombified world to sneak into a cafe so Carol could retrieve a family photo. I like to call it the reverse mouse trap:
Rats in cages on wheels distracted the walkers so that they could snatch the heirloom, a photo of Carl, Lori and Rick in happier times. Michonne helped Carl secure it and they instantly bonded, creating one of the few "feel good" moments the show has had in a while. This scene reminded me that the small group dynamic of the show -- the way it was before there were towns and farms and prisons to worry about -- is why I fell in love with it to begin with. Oh, and I almost forgot! Michonne snatched up something amazing for herself from the cafe, a rainbow "hunchcat" statuette that has absolutley no post-apocalyptic purprose, but was "just too damn gorgeous" to leave behind. MICHONNE FOREVER.
As the episode wound down, Rick pleaded with Morgan to return with them to the prison. But Morgan, now with incredible clarity, knew Rick's offer of shelter meant nothing if they had to take all the guns back with them. He knew they were at war, not just with walkers, but with the living. He let them take some of his guns but stayed behind, presumably with no hard feelings. After Carl said he was sorry for shooting him, he responded, "Never Apologize." At this rate, Carl is going to be the most hardened person in the group by next year.
The episode almost ended on a happy note, when Carl told his dad that Michonne is "one of us," while Rick bonded with her after she confessed that she knew about his little "vision" problem and used to see her dead boyfriend as well. Oh yeah, and she said "boyfriend," for those of you were still holding out hope for a sexy Michonne/Andrea "survival sex" flashback (but hey, you never know). But surprise! the hitchhiker from the top of the episode was reduced to a smear of blood and guts on the road on the way home. They didn't say anything, but they did pull over to loot his pack, so that's .... good, I guess.
What did you think of this week's non-prison/Woodbury episode? The preview for the next episode implies that Andrea is arranging some kind of negotiation between the Governor and Rick. Will it all go down at Woodbury next week? And where is Michonne going to put that crazy cat? Let me know what you think in the comments.
Brian Joyce: Ann Romney Takes on the Media
Rich white guys just can't get a fair shake these days. Case in point: Mitt Romney.
Remember Mitt Romney? He's the well-coiffed, policy-challenged Republican who lost to Barack Obama in the 2012 election.
Romney lost the election for a variety of reasons. First, he has no personality. Second, he has no personality. Third, he managed to piss off a large percentage of the electorate -- 47 percent of the electorate, to be exact -- by suggesting they're too lazy to get a job and pay their taxes.
Did I mention that he also has no personality?
All of this, plus the fact that Romney's policies just didn't match his numbers, are a good reason why Barack Obama is now serving a second term in Washington, and Mitt Romney is pumping his own gas and squeezing out grandkids in La Jolla, California.
But in case you thought it was Mitt Romney's fault that he lost the election, Ann Romney has a different take. The wife of Mitt Romney says it wasn't her husband's fault that he lost the race. Ann Romney says it's the media's fault -- and Barack Obama's fault!
In an interview with Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday, Ann Romney said her husband lost the race because the media didn't give him a "fair shake." Complaining that the voters "didn't get to know Mitt for who he was," Mrs. Mitt Romney blamed the media and the Obama campaign for portraying her husband in a negative light.
"I think that any time you're running for office, you always think that you're being portrayed unfairly," Ann Romney told Wallace. "Of course on our side, [we] believe there is more bias in favor of the other side. I think that's a pretty universally felt opinion."
First, I have to credit Chris Wallace for even putting Ann and Mitt Romney on the air. Like many Americans, I had forgotten that the Romneys' opinion still matters. Then Chris Wallace gave them 30-plus minutes on Fox News to air their grievances against the media, Obama, and anybody else who, in their opinion, was in the bag for the president. Thank you, Chris Wallace! Without you and Fox News, I never would have known that Republicans still think it's everybody else's fault that they lost in 2012.
Forget about the fact that Mitt Romney has no personality. Forget about the fact that he alienated 47 percent of the electorate. Forget about the fact that Mitt Romney's policies didn't match his numbers when it came to national defense, deficit reduction, or the economy. To hear Ann Romney tell it, Million Dollar Mitt would be president today... if he could just get a fair shake!
Because, as we all know, you can't win an election without getting a fair shake from the media. Nobody has ever won an election without getting a fair shake from the media! Certainly not Barack Hussein Obama, the Nazi from Indonesia who wants to kill your grandmother, steal your guns, convert you to Islam, destroy capitalism, butcher your unborn babies, suspend the 22nd Amendment, run for a 3rd term, and do it all over again. He was never portrayed in a negative light by anyone. That's why he won in 2012. Right, Ann Romney?
And forget about George W. Bush, the draft dodger who went AWOL during Vietnam but still managed to win two terms in the White House. It must have been the fair shake he got from Dan Rather that put him in the White House.
What about Bill Clinton? Surely it was all those rumors that he killed Vince Foster that won him the White House. Remember, you can't win the White House if you don't get a fair shake from the media.
When, oh when, will Ann Romney, Mitt Romney, and the rest of the GOP admit that they lost in 2012 because they had a bad candidate who just couldn't score the votes he needed to win? Probably never. In the meantime, they'll blame the media, the Obama campaign, government handouts, welfare queen, and anybody else for losing the election for them. They'll insist it was everybody else's fault -- not theirs -- that Mitt Romney lost in 2012. And they'll expect us to believe it.
Because remember, rich white guys just can't get a fair shake these days.
Andy Samberg's Fiancé Spends '7 Minutes In Heaven'
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In the latest installment of web series/excuse to kiss celebrities, "7 Minutes In Heaven," "Saturday Night Live" writer Mike O'Brien chats with musician (and Andy Samberg fiancé) Joanna Newsom.
Watch as Mike and Joanna eat chicken, wear hoodies, show children the "Evil clowns who will haunt your house if you ever try drugs," and drop a mini keyboard onto the aforementioned chicken above. Click here fore more "7 Minutes" goodness.
Monday, March 4, 2013
FOWL CHAPEL: Church In Florida Is Giving You The Bird
A congregation in Florida is crying fowl after pictures of its chapel made the Internet rounds this week for an unholy reason: the building looks like a chicken.
The "Chicken Church" -- also known as Church by the Sea in Madeira Beach -- went viral when a photographer noticed that, from just the right angle, the structure's round windows look like eyes and its roofing tiles resemble wings and a beak. Tourists now line up to take pictures of the visage.
GALLERY (Story continues below):
Dee Dee Parker, a longtime member of the church, told the Daily Mail that the Holy Cluck is "funny" and she welcomes the newfound popularity. But church employees interviewed by The Huffington Post disagree.
"We're not fond of it being called the 'Chicken Church,'" an employee, who asked not to be named, told HuffPost Weird News. "It's attracting people to us for all the wrong reasons. I don't think they're attracted to come in and worship, I think they're making fun of it."
She said that chapel, built in 1944, was not designed to look like a clucker.
HuffPost Weird News also called the chicken experts nearby -- employees at Hooters -- and a manager there refused to comment.
Two Words: Moonwalking Pony
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